Hamilton Herald Masthead

Editorial


Front Page - Friday, December 4, 2009

Are We There Yet?


Holiday news



Last Saturday ESPN reported that Tiger Woods had been involved in a car accident near his home in Orlando, and had been seriously injured. I turned to The Golf Channel where reports were sketchy at best. But the more information that came in, the sketchier it got.
It’s funny when you see these sports channels try and become serious reporters. Of course, I’m not sure there is such a thing anymore as unbiased reporting. Certainly not from most of the characters you see on cable these days, who seem more interested in becoming celebrities than reporting on them.
The Golf Channel reported that the world’s number-one golfer was, in fact, very “near his home.” (Just out of the driveway.) They said he plowed over a fire hydrant before ramming into a neighbor’s tree. But the weird thing (well, one of them) was that his face had lacerations but that the air bags in his Cadillac SUV didn’t deploy. My first question was this — shouldn’t he be driving a Buick?
Then we were told that it was the quick thinking of his devoted wife, who smashed the vehicle’s window with a golf club and pulled him to safety.
So Tiger has no comment. Good luck with that one. Sorry to tell him but there is no such thing as privacy for anyone anymore. Especially when you’re the most well-known guy on the planet.
But I don’t blame him. If I was worth a billion I’d want to tell the cops and the press to get lost too.
•••
“Researchers in animal behavior have long known that monogamy is uncommon in the natural world, but only with the advent of DNA “fingerprinting” have we come to appreciate how truly rare it is. Genetic testing has recently shown that even among many bird species — long touted as the epitome of monogamous fidelity — it is not uncommon for 6 percent to 60 percent of the young to be fathered by someone other than the mother’s social partner. As a result, we now know scientifically what most people have long known privately: that social monogamy does not necessarily imply sexual monogamy.” — “Monogamy isn’t easy” by David P. Barish, LA Times
The above appeared in the Democrat-Gazette last Saturday. Go back and read it if you haven’t already. Should make for interesting conversation between you and your mate.
•••
It’s bad when some kind of flu-like thing arrives Thanksgiving week. This particular version roared in like lions with the plague.
Whatever it was — virus/bacteria/botulism/scurvy — it was brutal, and kind of puzzling. I mean, how can you be fine one minute, and the next feel like you’ve been catching passes over the middle of the Baltimore Ravens’ defense, just after eating a dead horse that’s been lying in the desert for a week?
My first thought was to blame the Hunan Chicken and Shrimp Fried Rice I had gorged on the night before.
We had ordered the takeout while celebrating an Arkansas victory over Mississippi State; and anticipating the upcoming week of more football, turkey, dressing and pie. What’s not to be thankful for?
But at least the salmonella virus was fast moving. Not Usain Bolt fast, but fast enough to make whatever the heck it was a distant bad memory by Tuesday afternoon; and by Friday I could even think about Asian buffets again without a gag reflex (Egg Flu Young, as Judge Morley described it).
We had another successful turkey – 21 lbs. of golden brown bird that had guests oohing and salivating when it made its grand entrance from the oven doors; not to mention my Cairn terrier, Gus, who put on his best “they never feed me” look for everyone. I went with that dry-brine recipe again from last year I’d found on the LA Times Web site. It had come up after I Googled “turkey,” along with “delicious” and “easy.”
It’s not a fluke, as back-to-back years of succulent meat will attest.
We had great pies too — pumpkin by Kathy, cherry by Kate, blueberry by Emily and pecan by Community Bakery.
At the end of the day there was, as always, much to be thankful for – no more flu; a dry day with ocean blue skies; taste buds; reliable transportation (to bring guests over and take them home again); a fireplace; California grapes; children home from school; Walter Camp; newspapers; Utah surgeons; golf; the Detroit Lions (for whoever is playing them); terriers; Wi-Fi; soldiers; cotton (shirts and Bowls); peppermint; hi-def; great and willing cooks; laughter; pizza (for when you can’t stand turkey anymore); employment; a quarterback; Christmas lights that work for at least one more year; a beach anywhere; boiled shrimp; smoked ham; Robert Earl Keene; pears; sounds of silence; hot water; ice; and a loving and forgiving God.