Never try to cross a river just because it has an average depth of four feet.
– Martin Friedman
Some odds and ends from last week:
The new pope is reportedly doing some housecleaning. You might recall that on his first day as CEO of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics, Pope Francis picked up his luggage at a Vatican hotel, personally thanked each member of the staff, and even paid his own bill. Then a bit later, doing as the rest of us less than pontiff-like people would do, he called the owner of the Argentine newspaper to cancel his longtime subscription. Daniel Del Regno was somewhat skeptical when he got the call. “Seriously, it’s Jorge Bergoglio. I’m calling you from Rome,” Pope Francis told the disbelieving man. “I was in shock, I broke down in tears and didn’t know what to say,” Del Regno says. “He thanked me for delivering the paper all this time and sent best wishes to my family.”
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If this next story doesn’t make you believe the cats and their nine lives myth, then I don’t know what will. An Indiana TV station reports that a cat belonging to a woman whose home was struck by a jet that crashed in South Bend survived inside a wall of the house. Construction worker Harvey Jackson told WSBT-TV that he was knocking down a wall in Patricia Kobalski’s home Saturday when the cat jumped out from between two walls. The startled Jackson says he grabbed the animal so a wrecking ball being used to demolish the house wouldn’t smash it. He says the cat looked pretty good. Named Zuul, it had been missing since the plane crash on Sunday that killed former Oklahoma quarterback Steve Davis, who guided the Sooners to national championships in 1974 and 1975. Wesley Caves, 58, also died at the scene.
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The nation’s top weather guy is enduring a criticism hailstorm, or maybe I should say snowstorm. No, I’m not talking about Al Roker. This prognosticator is none other than Punxsutawney Phil, and Ohio Prosecutor Mike Gmoser is so frustrated by the recent cold spell that he’s laying the blame at the feet of the famous weather predicting rodent, even asking for the death penalty. Phil isn’t the only one feeling our sun worshiping nation’s ire. His cousin, Birmingham Bill, also predicted an early spring. I’m not familiar with Bill, but perhaps this is the big break he’s been waiting for. According to Birmingham station CBS42, they tracked Bill down on Tuesday at his home at the Birmingham Zoo to see if he had any comment. However, he would only answer questions through a spokesperson. “He supports Punxsutawney Phil. He does believe that Punxsutawney Phil was right in his prediction making,” Birmingham Bill’s spokesperson said. “Even if he was misinterpreted.”
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Finally, what perhaps brings to mind a Tarantino flick, a woman in Texarkana, Texas accidentally burned down her own house down during a heated battle with a snake.
The lady was doing some cleaning outside the house when the snake appeared, startling her. She poured gasoline on it then yelled for her son to bring a match, which, unfortunately, he did. The flaming serpent slithered into a brush pile, which caught on fire and the flames moved from there to the home, burning it down. “We were trying to kill a snake with fire,” the woman told a 911 Operator, “and it done caught the house.”
“Caught the house?” asked the operator.
It’s believed the snake perished.