It won’t be long until we are contemplating our New Year’s resolutions. The media will be inundating us with tips on making and how to keep resolutions: Try this pill, read this book, hypnotism really works, meditate, take walks to clear your mind – the list goes on and on. While these might be good tips and work for some people, why are resolutions hard to keep, or why is it hard to change?
Making a resolution to improve some aspect of your life requires breaking a pattern, which is not always easy. But it is possible. Wherever you are, you can get to where you want to be by recognizing one thing – when you decide to change, you will meet resistance. You will always be challenged to see if you are serious. And, let’s face it, if there isn’t a challenge to be dealt with, then why would you need to change anyway?
Let’s say this is the big week of your diet. You’re totally committed. Nothing is going to change your mind or tempt you. The scales yelled, “Get off! You’re hurting me!” at you this morning, and that was the final straw! Yogurt for breakfast, salads for lunch, and cottage cheese and fruit for dinner – at least for two weeks. This very day, you received two dinner invitations and someone brought donuts to work for everyone this morning! Here’s the test!
Diet not a concern? Then perhaps you’re a bit of a slob when it comes to dressing, so you’re determined to dress neater. You put on your best pants, shirt and tie, and then you get toothpaste on your shirt while you’re brushing your teeth, or you spill coffee on your pants, or there’s a spot on your tie, and you have no idea where it came from! Do you keep trying to look neat, or do you just wipe it the best you can and go your merry way?
What about this biggie – you want to stop smoking. You put on your best “determined” face and toss the rest of the pack of cigarettes in the trash. Wait – you grab them out, tear them up, and then toss them back in the trash! There! You’re done with that!
Two long weeks of struggling later, you give up. You can’t quit because everyone at work goes out to smoke a cigarette at break and you’re left inside to deal with your craving by yourself. Or, maybe your spouse smokes, so you have to go smoke a cigarette with him or her. You just can’t win!
The tendency is to think that you’re doomed – that you weren’t meant to be thinner, and you are the way you are, and you just can’t change! The truth is, you can change, but the old ways will continue to threaten and nag at you in the form of resistance. However, by recognizing that the resistance will be there, you can prepare for it!
This year, as you’re thinking and planning the ways and patterns in your life that you want to change, also consider the resistance you’ll come up against when trying to make the change. Write them down, and if you have to, refer back to them on a daily basis. Knowing and dealing with the challenges you’ll encounter while making the change will, in turn, make your resolutions less likely to fail.
Remember – life changes when we change!