As Dr. Sherry Hoppe grieved her husband’s death, the most important thing she learned is just because a person has faith, grieving is not easy. This lesson is one of many that Hoppe passes on to readers in her new book: “Sips of Sustenance: Grieving the Loss of Your Spouse.”
Hoppe grew up in north Georgia, and earned her bachelor’s and master’s degree at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga. Hoppe worked at Chattanooga State for 11 years before serving as interim president of Nashville State. From there, she was the president of Rome State Community College for 11 years and Austin Peay State University president for eight years before retiring in 2007.
During her education career, she co-authored several works with a colleague, but didn’t think much about writing after she retired. Hoppe’s plan was to spend more time with her husband between their Chattanooga home and their Florida condo. Hoppe’s entire life was thrown out of kilter when her husband died only eight months after she retired, she says.
Two weeks before her husband died, Hoppe’s writing career began to form as she spoke with him about writing the story of his life. Bobby Hoppe grew up in Chattanooga, was first all-American here in high school, went on to Auburn and was a star on their first national championship team, but he had also had a very traumatic time in his life. Bobby killed a man in self-defense when he came home for summer break between his junior and senior year, but didn’t tell anyone. It was only 31 years later that he was indicted and charged with first-degree murder, even though he had killed him in self-defense.
Sherry and Bobby went through a horrendous trial together in 1988, and after Bobby was cleared, they rebuilt their lives. But, Hoppe says, she always wanted to tell his story.
“I always wanted people to see who he was, what that instance had done to him, and to see the inside of what happens in a trial,” Hoppe says.
This was how “A Matter of Conscience: Redemption of Hometown Hero Bobby Hoppe” was written and released in October of last year. While this book helped Hoppe stay busy in the months following her husband’s death, she says she was still grieving, and her husband’s death “brought her to her knees.” Just as Hoppe’s first book helped her to process the intensity of the trial, she thought a second book about grief would help her in a similar way.
Hoppe says when she lost her parents to terminal illness years ago, she grieved their death but there was also some sense of relief that they weren’t suffering. When her husband died in good health, Hoppe says she suddenly wanted to question things she had accepted from scripture before.
“It was 1,000 questions running through my mind, and even though I had been a Christian since an early age, I began to struggle. I fought with myself for a while, kept asking for answers and hit a bolted door,” she says.
Hoppe began to write this book at the ocean when she saw a tulip begin to flower in her front yard.
“I thought: ‘If God can raise a tulip from the dead and God can time the tides in the moon ... if he’s that good at master planning and cares that much about a tulip, then I know he cares about us, and the plan he has for us must be far greater than anything we’ve witnessed on Earth,” Hoppe says.
This is not to say she doesn’t still miss her husband and grieve that he’s not here, but as a result of writing this book and going through the initial grieving process, she has stopped struggling with answers of faith, because she doesn’t think those will ever be available on Earth.
Hoppe says she doesn’t think her book will provide answers, because no one can walk in anyone else’s shoes in grieving, because the process is as unique as the person lost. She says she does hope it will provide some signposts that will lead toward hope.
“I want people to feel like they could have written the book…I want people to leave the book with hope that you don’t get over grief, but you can get through it, and on the other side of grief, you can find life,” Hoppe says.
“Sips of Sustenance” releases on May 10 and will be available in local bookstores and online at Amazon. Next summer, Hoppe will release another book of profiles on different types of grief. “Faces of Grief” details Hoppe’s interviews with 20 people who have lost different family members.
This book has a similar message to “Sips of Sustenance,” but goes more in depth with full stories of 20 different people, Hoppe says. Hoppe is also currently working on two more titles, including one on addiction that she is collaborating on with her sister.
For more info on Hoppe’s work, visit www.wakestonepress.com.