Editorial
Front Page - Friday, May 7, 2010
The Critic's Corner
David Laprad
I’m supposed to hate the new “Nightmare on Elm Street” movie, which is little more than a cash grab by Platinum Dunes, a studio that has already issued reboots of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Friday the 13th.” But the film was entertaining enough for a Saturday matinee.
I think my reaction had more to do with my affection for the original “Nightmare” movies than anything special the creators of the remake brought to the table. The best installments of the classic series, in which a child murderer named Freddy Kruger stalked and killed his victims in their sleep, were visually inventive and creepy. Anything was possible as the movies danced along the thin line between the real world and the dreams of its doomed teenagers, which made sitting down to watch a new one fun.
As the new “Nightmare” began, however, a sense of “been there, done that” oozed off the screen. This time through, the audience knows who Kruger is, and must wait for the characters in the film to catch up. This makes the first hour or so rather dull. Director Samuel Bayer uses old tricks to try to stir up scares – innocuous surprises make loud noises and people pop out of places they shouldn’t be to startle viewers – but none of them work.
The movie gets interesting at about the halfway point, when it chronicles the events that turned Kruger into a monster. In a bold move, the filmmakers define the motivations of the new Freddy more clearly by making something at which the first “Nightmare” only hinted more explicit. It makes Kruger even more hideous than before.
And therein lies the only real strength of the new movie. Over the course of five sequels, Kruger went from child murderer to wisecracking villain; he wasn’t scary anymore by the time the sixth film rolled around. But “Nightmare 2010” replaces Roger Englund with a new actor who not only resurrects the evil in Kruger but also makes the iconic role his own.
Along the way, Bayer inserts some nice tips of the fedora to the original, which I’ll leave you to discover.
The original “Nightmare” remains a classic that’s just as watchable today as it was 26 years ago, making a redo unnecessary. However, if you think of the remake as more of a homage than a shameless attempt to milk someone else’s ideas for money, you might enjoy more of it than you hate.
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When scientists figured out how to smash atoms into one another, they created the most destructive force known to man. If they’d really wanted to rip a hole in the fabric of the universe, though, they would’ve tapped into the energy that’s produced when two human lives collide.
Take one person who’s heading full speed in one direction and another who’s charting a different course, ram them together, and the resulting explosion can be cataclysmic. But the lure of attraction is so strong, and its effects on our mental faculties so numbing, most of us steer into, rather than away from, the impact.
When all of that energy is released, it almost always knocks both people off course. Case in point: Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) and Stan (Alex O’Loughin), who bump into each other in the back of a taxicab and are soon hopelessly entangled in love.
To say Zoe complicates Stan’s life would be an understatement. As she was waving down her ride, she was on her way home from being artificially inseminated. The baby takes, and so does the guy in the cab, leaving her in a bind: does she tell the freewheeling goat cheese farmer about her pregnancy or wait and see where things go?
Zoe decides to hold her cards close to her chest. By the time she reveals her hand, Stan is already in deep and does the honorable thing. Unfortunately, neither of them realize they’re at the mercy of the second most destructive force known to man: a terrible screenplay.
The creators of “The Back-Up Plan” take what could be a funny, heartwarming and intelligent movie and, in a stupefying fit of unoriginality, throw every known romcom cliché at their hapless couple.
There’s actually a scene in which Stan leans over a candlelit dinner to kiss Zoe and knocks over a bottle of wine. This tips over the candles and ignites the tablecloth, sending Zoe scampering to a nearby hose, which she uses to put out the fire and soak Stan to the bone. Of course, he laughs hugely, grabs the hose and sprays her down in gleeful revenge.
The rest of the movie is just as bad or worse, but I only have enough space left to issuing a simple warning: if you’re feeling a strong lure to see “The Back-Up Plan,” steer away from, rather than into, the impact.
Email David Laprad at dlaprad@hamiltoncountyherald
.com.
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