A million decisions a day. That’s what it means to be a parent.
Which diaper? Which preschool? Dance or soccer? Do we have time for both? How young is too young for a smartphone? What’s the safest car?
And then you turn around, and it’s time. Never mind that these younglings appeared on planet Earth after “Friends” was already off the air. That their “vintage” viewpoints of clothing and music correspond to your own college years.
It’s time to talk about college.
You suddenly feel behind, like you should have been thinking about this while they were in middle school. And honestly – in some ways – you’re not that far off. Who are you gonna call? (If you said “Ghostbusters” in your head, you may have just dated yourself and established why you need the professionals.)
College counselors to the rescue
Middle Tennessee private schools boast some of the most experienced and knowledgeable professionals in education. They’ve not only worked with hundreds – perhaps thousands – of students, but some have also worked in college admissions offices themselves.
They help students find their voice and their future. And they understand it has been a few years since Mom and Dad applied to college themselves – and how things have changed since then.
By selecting a private high school, parents might also be choosing several things that could help their child be ready for the next steps in their journey. College-preparatory curriculum. Unique opportunities for independent study. Opportunities for extracurriculars in areas of interest. A focus on character that’s a school motto and mission.
Families also are supported by a team of college and career counselors who often have much smaller caseloads of students than their public school peers. These counselors are able to meet more frequently with students – and often, parents – and develop long-term relationships with them.
For example, Nashville Christian School has three high school counselors – one for freshmen and sophomores, another for juniors and seniors, and another who is dedicated solely to helping students with college admissions. The school’s graduating class of 2027 will be only 67 students, compared to public schools that might boast graduating classes in the 300-400-student range.
Montgomery Bell Academy has four college counselors for its all-boys high school, with a 2027 graduating class of 142 students. The school requires multiple individual and family meetings, knowing that a student fully engaged in the college-preparatory process may end up meeting with their assigned counselor dozens of times between spring of junior year and graduation.
“One of MBA’s greatest strengths is the combination of rigorous academic preparation and highly individualized college counseling,” says Colin Dunnigan, director of college counseling at MBA. “Teachers challenge boys to become stronger writers, thinkers and problem solvers. Advisors, coaches and other adults throughout the school help them develop independence, resilience, self-advocacy and confidence. By the time a student begins applying to college, we are not simply helping him assemble an application; we are helping him identify institutions where he can grow and thrive.”
Catherine Sawyer, director of college counseling at Christ Presbyterian Academy echoes this focus on relationships through the high school years and college process.
“Our college counseling philosophy focuses on two grounding philosophies: building relationships with students and seeking an appropriate postsecondary fit,” she says. “Investing in relationships is a core value at CPA and it’s critical in helping guide students in their next step, recognizing that effective counsel requires knowing a student’s unique giftings.”
One size does not fit all
Many of the private high schools can claim 100% college acceptance or numbers very close to it.
However, all understand that each student is different and may choose other paths: gap-year programs, military service, direct vocational callings – and even the Alabama Ballet Company for one 2026 Columbia Academy student. They guide students through the college-and-beyond process based on their individual needs.
Some are future college athletes who need help with NCAA, NAIA and junior college eligibility requirements, academic tracking and recruitment timelines.
Abbie Moroney, upper school dean of admissions at Nashville Christian School, is familiar with the needs of student-athletes at the alma mater for Jared Curtis, a 2026 graduate who led his high school to a state title and whose 5-star ranking as the highest-rated commit in the program’s history led to his current celebrated collegiate start at Vanderbilt University.
“NCS has and is willing to work individually with athletes on a fast track for early graduation with an opportunity for early enrollment in college for athletic purposes,” Moroney says. “This includes working with appropriate academic advisers from the interested colleges to ensure students have the necessary credits.”
Neurodiverse students and their families might also require assistance understanding what support is available and how to advocate for themselves with college accessibility offices.
“We maintain ongoing relationships with accessibility offices at colleges and universities,” says Tara Miller, director of college and career counseling at Currey Ingram Academy, a private school specifically dedicated to students with learning differences.
“Our College Transition Support Fair gives students and families the opportunity to connect directly with college support services and specialized transition programs from across the United States. We are also an ACT Special Testing site, so that students who receive approved accommodations can complete the ACT over a four-day period rather than in a single day.”
Similarly, NCS offers the LIFE (Learning Is For Everyone) program, dedicated to helping students with accommodations. For an additional fee, services can span from dual instruction and modifications in the general classroom, supported by a LIFE-certified educator or assistant, to specific LIFE classes for students who need certified special education teachers in a separate classroom.
Are you ready for it?
Choice is the name of the game for today’s high schoolers. Parents might have taken the ACT one time, with no essay to write, and applied (on paper) to just a few colleges – often not looking past something close to home. Things have changed a bit.
Students sort through potentially thousands of college options, navigating school-sponsored college fairs and admission counselor visits. CPA hosts a Young Alumni College Fair at which recent CPA graduates return to share their perspective and experiences, Sawyer relates. “They give current students grounded insight from peers who sat in their same high school seats.”
When the time arrives to build a college list and apply, Aaron Fulk, director of college counseling at University School of Nashville, says it’s most important to first ask a fundamental question: Why?
“If you don’t know the ‘why,’ then that can be where students get anxious down the road – they’re not making choices that align with their why,” Fulk says. “They really can get annoyed when we’re asking them 12 different times in spring of junior year, ‘Why are you going?’
“I think it’s important that students understand that so much of what they think about college and their stress is actually a narrative that is being either told to them by broader culture, by their family or themselves,” Fulk continues, “and they haven’t paused to actually be aware of those narratives. Self-awareness is such a unique opportunity in the college search process, to think about their own values and what they care about the most.”
Then it’s time to narrow the list to the eight to 12 colleges, the number to which most students apply. Will they include their parents’ alma mater, the college their cousin Josie attends or the school with the best “insert-major-here” program? Should they add the D1 university they want to cheer for in football, the Ivy League they want to just “see” if they have a shot at or the college in the big city where they’ve always wanted to live?
Ultimately, counselors work with students and families to build and apply to a compilation of “likely, target and reach” colleges – a mixture that is specific to each student, their wants and needs and the family’s needs.
Financial need is the college list factor that students might not consider but that never leaves parents’ minds. Attending a state university might offer lower tuition and the benefit of the HOPE Scholarship, which can add over $20,000 more in money toward college. But smaller private liberal arts colleges often have grants that can make higher education more affordable than parents would think. And in-state private colleges also utilize the HOPE scholarship.
“College costs have changed over time,” says Janet Weller, director of college counseling at Harpeth Hall. “When I started in this work over 25 years ago, tuition, room and board costing over $50,000 seemed unconscionable. Now, some colleges’ costs are cresting $100,000. This results in complex conversations about return on investment, necessitating strong advising about scholarships, financial aid and managing college costs.”
While helping students meet deadlines for merit aid consideration, counselors also are assisting families in navigating the costs of college by comparing the costs of attendance, analyzing financial award letters and connecting students with potential scholarships – some awarded by the high schools themselves.
Harpeth Hall offers a Financing College Education series for parents in partnership with Paul Martin of College Money Method throughout the four years of high school. Currey Ingram Academy hosts an annual FAFSA night, to introduce families to the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, where state representatives work with parents to complete the application.
What does it take?
Preparing for college is no longer an end-of-high school checklist, says Columbia Academy director of academics Dr. Clint Pulse: “College admissions is no longer just about GPA and test scores; colleges now look for holistic growth, self-advocacy and genuine engagement.”
Academic rigor and test scores are still a strong factor for admission, however, and even more so when looking at opportunities for scholarships and other merit aid or access to honors programs.
High school advisers encourage students to challenge themselves, “while still leaving adequate time for extracurricular interests, family, recreation and sleep,” says MBA’s Dunnigan.
“A question we’re often asked is whether a college would rather see a B in an AP (Advanced Placement)-level class or an A in a standard-level class. That’s the wrong question,” Weller says. “Choices about rigor should not be about college options at all. They should be about mastery. Good rigor builds over time. The right question is, ‘What’s the next, most appropriate challenge for me?’”
But a lower grade can be important, she adds.
“The best thing that our faculty can do to help properly prepare students for the expectations of a college classroom is to give students the grade their work has earned. If it’s a C, it’s a C, and it’s a growth moment.”
When it comes to understanding who a student is and what they’re capable of, college admissions counselors look to the activities and honors sections of the application. The pursuit of their interests, how deeply they’ve been involved in extracurriculars, and the things they learned and achieved along the way show more than students realize.
“If you love sports, play them. If you love theater, get on stage. If your church is important to you, get involved and consider leading the youth group. If you genuinely enjoy serving others, there are countless opportunities to do so throughout greater Nashville,” says MBA’s Dunnigan.
“If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you enjoy debate or Model U.N., participate. If you’re considering medicine, volunteer or shadow professionals. If you need or want to earn money, get a job. And while you’re doing all of that, read a book for pleasure and spend some time outside.”
Colleges want to know who you’ll be on their campus, and high school activities point to that. They also prefer to see that a student has gone deeper in the things they really care about rather than being involved in everything.
“There is a strong emphasis on leadership skills and how a student will contribute as a leader on a college campus,” Currey Ingram’s Miller adds. “Colleges really want students to share more about themselves and what makes them authentic.”
Beyond the data – GPA, transcript, testing – the most direct way that application readers learn about students is from the college essay, sometimes referred to as the personal statement. It’s a 650-words-or-less narrative written by the student about themselves and who they are. Easy, right?
“Many students come to me after years of being taught to write academically – construct a thesis, make an argument, cite evidence and strive for precision and perfection,” says Betsey Bachert, director of college counseling and assistant head of upper school at Franklin Road Academy. She feels the college essay is the most magical part of the application. “Those skills are valuable, but the college essay asks for something very different. Sometimes we have to break some of those academic writing habits and give them permission to be creative, reflective, funny, vulnerable and human.
“One of the questions I often ask students is: If the person reading this essay had never met you, could they read it and describe you to a friend or colleague?” Bachert continues. “Would they be able to hear your voice? Would they understand something about the way you think, what you value, what makes you laugh, what challenges you and how you see your place in the world?”
Their first big decision
“Every year we have our seniors come up with their own shared agreement,” Fulk says. “We want to visually remind kids that this is how we want you to navigate this process, so they all sign it and it’s a huge poster outside our office. USN is not about competition culture or achievement culture – it’s the place where students learn about themselves and support one another.”
Once the applications are submitted, the admission decisions begin to roll in. Accepted. Deferred. Denied. Wait-listed. The student takes the first step – choosing the colleges they feel fit with who they are, but the second step is up to the college. And counselors at high schools breathe no less easy than their students as they wait until the last decision is made.
“We want students to feel empowered to take ownership of their applications, but society puts a lot of pressure on them to get it ‘right,’” Bachert says. “Applying to and selecting a college is one of the first big ‘adult’ decisions our students make, and we want them to feel confident in what they are submitting and how they present themselves. They know we are in their corner.”