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Front Page - Friday, February 20, 2015

February: The calendar’s armpit

Under Analysis

It’s February, which is possibly the worst month of the year. No one likes February. The groundhog doesn’t even like February. I suspect the reason it’s the shortest month of the year is because the people who made the calendar knew there was no way humans could take a full 31 days of this horrid month. (And for that I’m thankful.)

February isn’t bad solely because it’s cold and it’s home to Valentine’s Day. It’s also bad because by February, all of your New Year’s resolutions have fallen by the waste side, unless you’re me and your resolutions are to fail at all of your other resolutions. If you’re smart enough to make that your resolution, then allow me to congratulate you on your recent success.

As a lawyer, I know I should like February, but I still don’t. It has two state holidays built in, which means two “free days” that I don’t have to be in court, which should mean happiness. But it’s just not enough to get me over the February blues. Perhaps it’s because those “free days” are jam-packed with depositions and paper work, and by the end of the day, I’m looking forward to a return to court, a sense of normalcy, and a warm bath.

Every February, I wonder how I made it through Februarys past. Obviously, I’ve survived this month more times than I’d care to admit, but I always forget how I make it through these few weeks. So this year, I’ve decided to make a list for myself for future years, and since I’m a philanthropist, I’m sharing it with you as well. Here’s a few ways I’ve come up with to make it through this dreadful month:

Naps: The best way to get through something is just to sleep through it. It worked for me with all of the “Harry Potter” movies, and it can work for February, too.

Alcohol: It helps even out those rough edges after a long day at the office. It also helps you sleep. Interestingly, this is also what got me through the “Harry Potter” movies.

Humor: Laughing is by far the best way to get through even the worst of situations. Trust me. I’ve never laughed as hard as I did at my Aunt Trudy’s funeral.

Netflix: Binge-watching your favorite show makes February fly right by.

Reading: As if you don’t do enough of this at work. The good news, however, is that reading is a great segue into a nap. 

Snacking: Don’t worry about how many calories are in that entire bag of Cheetos. It’s the winter months, and you need extra calories to survive. And then wash them down with Dr. Pepper.

Shopping: Between Presidents’

Day, Groundhog’s Day, and Valentine’s Day, there’s a sale practically every day of February. Come to think of it, that might be the one good thing about this month.

Complaining: I do this almost the entire month of February, and it gets me through. Then again, it’s probably not the best for everyone to be complaining, so maybe I’ll change the suggestion to “Listen to me complaining.” There. That’s better.

Hopefully these ideas will help you make it through this detestable month. However you get through the month of February, I hope it goes by quickly for you. Look at the bright side; spring break is right around the corner.

©2015 Under Analysis, LLC. Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column of The Levison Group. Lisa Henderson-Newlin is a shareholder of the law firm McAnany Van Cleave and Phillips. She’s a contributing writer at NickMom, YourTango, Bustle, EliteDaily and others. She also writes a humor website, LisaNewlin.com. Contact Lisa at lhenderson@mvplaw.com, or contact Under Analysis by email at comments@levisongroup.com.